The Long Road Home: RIP Grandmother

Funny how as a child we often take so much for granted.

Life and death are certainly two sides of the same coin. Funny how it seems as one person starts life, another person’s life ends. It has been a while since my last blog. Life has presented me with some interesting twist and turns, and although some of them were expected, that doesn’t necessarily make the situation and expected outcome any easier to swallow. First I’m very thankful that I was blessed to see my 30th birthday. I’ve lost so many friends, & acquaintances along the way that weren’t blessed with such an opportunity.

On September 24th I received the dreaded text message from my mother that I hoped I would never receive. She and my grandmother were on the back of an ambulance. I later found out that my grandmother was actually crashing on the way to the hospital, and almost died on the operating table. I had been making so many plans to have a great birthday, visit California and had planned on coming home to visit the first of the year. I hadn’t been home since 2007 and dreaded the thought of going back home. I love my mother and grandmother more than anything, but I couldn’t rid myself of something my mom had told me a few years back, “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Its amazing how eight little words can shake you to the core…….but when the person that brought you into the world doesn’t know you anymore, its time to do some soul searching. As I pondered over the various puzzle pieces of my life one thing became clear, I was still the same person I had always been, ME. The only thing that changed was I stopped living to please my parents and started pursuing my own goals. When I left home at 19 everyone told me I would fail and would come running back, that was Nov 2000, almost 11 years later and I’m still standing strong. Long gone is the naive girl that moved to MS with duffel bags of clothes, a computer, 2 paychecks, and a mind full of dreams and ambitions. As a child parents are invincible, as we age reality sets in and we realize that they don’t have the answers to everything and they can’t solve all your problems, but their love can definitely make the heart smile.

I’ve always been the rock for my grandmother and mother, and was often the peacemaker. As my grandmother clung on to life I realized that my mother was in denial about her mother’s impending departure. I found myself having to help with funeral arrangements, choose a casket, gather gravesite information, wrote, printed, & formated the obituary, and help my mother thorough the most difficult time of her life. My grandmother, the woman that taught me sooooooo much and took me everywhere she went was now frail but determined nonetheless, even on her deathbed. My mother and I found ourselves spending many hours at the hospital chapel, and at home in silent meditation. My grandmother even surprised the doctors! she survived 2 major surgeries, came off of the ventilator and even with end stage dementia, told the doctors her name when asked. The only thing she was unable to do was swallow and eat, and that’s when I knew the Lord was ready for her to come home.

I had several dreams prior to her hospitalization that she had passed on or around my birthday, in actuality she passed two days after my birthday. My mother and I were there with her when she took her last breath and her kidneys shut down. Seeing someone’s life slip away is surreal, and the stench of death is one that you never forget.  She has since appeared in several other dreams to say I love you.  One dream I had made me wake up in almost a cold sweat, my grandmother appeared in the middle of a dream, called me a childhood nickname, & hugged me…..I actually felt the hug (which still gives me chills)

As the holidays draw near I’m comforted by fond memories from my childhood, and the life lessons and experiences she shared with me, such as;

• Not being able to attend Howard University because she wasn’t light enough.
• The day the train conductor kicked her in the head while she was on a train in Hattiesburg, MS and she almost lost her life when she scolded him
• The 15 years she fought to receive my grandfather’s VA benefits
• The year she was crowned the first dark skin pinup girl in Washington, DC
• The day she beat her light-skin friend for a job (that advertised they were only hiring light skin african americans) because of her demeanor, outspokenness, and neat appearance.

Below are a few of my favorite Grandmother Tidbits:

1. Big girls have to go the extra mile to make sure their hygiene is correct!
2. If you aren’t careful you will dig your grave with your teeth
3. The way to someone’s heart is through the mind, genitals, and stomach
4. Never let anyone make you doubt yourself
5. Stand up for what you believe in at all cost
6. Be NEAT and well groomed at all times
7. Keep your money to yourself (took me a while to learn this one)
8. Take pride in your appearance
9. Never be afraid to speak your mind
10. Take everything to God in prayer Fear the Lord, and make him first in your life
11. I will always love you

And too many other life lessons to mention Above all else she taught me how to love without fear, abandonment or regret, she is the reason that I’m the woman I am today, one that never quits, and fights against all odds, may she rest in peace.

Venus and Her Hidden Secret

I believe in staying well groomed, and often visit my local barbershop once a week.  Most times regardless of what the barbershop talk is, when I arrive the conversation often switches to sex, and the female orgasm.  I had originally decided to write a blog on some of the indecent proposals I’ve had and why I’m single, but after coming across a provacative documentary, I’ll save that for a rainy day.

While relaxing before going to bed and watching television; I came across an interesting show on the Science channel entitled Curiosity: Why is Sex Fun?  The show is focusing on the female body and orgasm.  I try to stay away from globalizing statements, but this one is true: heterosexual men, and lesbians are interested in the female climax, and how to achieve the best one possible……if anyone disagrees please feel free to comment.  That is not to say these men and women are obsessed with it (although some are) but it is important in many relationships.  I discovered long ago that if you can make someone’s skin crawl, toes curl, eyes roll, and erupt like a volcano, they will keep coming, back for more that is.

People are creatures of habit, and often crave attention and physical touch.  How did I come to this conclusion?  I’ve had boyfriends, husbands, and others proposition me for techniques on how to please the lady in their life, or other romantic ideas to spice up their intimate or social relationship.  Now I don’t know what makes them think I know anything about such topics, but I do.  I could probably write a book. I discovered the book of Kama Sutra on my mom’s bookshelf when I was 12, and I read it from front to back, and then back to front.  Now I never let her know I read it, and I don’t think there was anything in their inappropriate, but my opinion of course is biased.  The book is full of tips, massages, practices, positions, etc….on how to be a better lover, listener, and increase overall pleasure physically and mentally.  Honestly I think anyone that is interested in being a better lover and partner should read it.

Sex isn’t just about being able to pleasure the body of another, although that is important.  Sex is something that can cause an emotional, physical, & spiritual bond.  In fact it appears that what it was intended for.  If you feel closer to someone that you just shared intimacy with you have a desire to become closer, and form a stronger bond, which is why I think monogamy is important, and can lead to fruitful unions.  One must be careful whom they mate and date.  Most everyone has heard the adage “apples don’t fall far from the tree”.  I’d like to add that apples don’t roll uphill either. Men tend to have less trouble than women it seems, when it comes to having sex without any emotion.  However, there are exceptions to every rule.  Women by nature are emotional and analytical.  Men by nature are hands on and straightforward.  I’ve found that women often need to be wanted, while men want to be needed.    You may not agree with these concepts, but they are generally accepted within the field of psychology.  The truth is men and women really do think differently.  I guess that author John Gray hit the nail on the head, when he said;”Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.”

I could go into graphic detail about techniques for passion and pleasure, but that would be pointless.  What works on one woman may not work with another.  Each of us is as unique and intricate as a snowflake. There are some general things I’ve discovered along the way:

I find if funny that the scientist and doctors on the documentary are intrigued by what I figured out long ago.  Below are some of the interesting facts the documentary concluded, and I’ve added a few of my own.

• Foreplay is great for some, and for others it makes no difference
• Pay attention to reactions, while someone can fake an orgasm, the body doesn’t lie.  Pay attention when she flinches as you caress and massage.
• A woman has to be into you in order to have a true orgasm
• Women have great intense orgasms when in love, and each time they’re intimate with the same partner, the orgasm becomes more intense.
• Looks do matter – women have better orgasms with partners they are physically attracted to (DUH!!!!)
• Some women don’t ever experience vaginal orgasms
• The mind is a powerful thing, some women are able to climax simply by thinking about stimulation.
• The way to a woman’s heart starts with her mind, not her body.
• When all else fails try something new (like toys, role play) variety is the spice of life.

I’m not a doctor, and this blog isn’t to make any suggestions, just sharing my 2cents, and what I’ve discovered.

A Few Four Letter Words

INTRO:
As my 30th birthday continues to feel like it is rapidly approaching I’ve been thinking more and more about what I’ve learned and putting things into perspective.  Now I’m no expert but, through observation and experiences I’ve discovered that there are two four letter words that we cannot live without: self and love, which is sometimes mistaken for lust.

SELF:
As a child I was teased like most children are.  I lacked siblings to receive assistance from, but I paid close attention to the interactions of my peers and parents.  I found  speaking up, being quick witted, and learning how to communicate effectively allowed me to talk myself out of almost any situation.

Most everyone is aware of self, but not everyone is self aware.  Being self aware can be the difference between life and death, socially and figuratively.   A little bit of observation and consideration before speaking makes fitting in much easier in almost every social setting.  Charismatic, determined, positive, motivated, articulate individuals are often hard to forget.

LOVE:
I’ve been in love and I’ve been a fool for love.  I’ve experienced lip service love, and true love that comes from the heart.  Love from the heart is expressed through actions, and you know its there way before the words “I love You” are uttered.  Through heartbreak I’ve learned to identify and wait for love, and to never say “I love You”,  unless I mean it.

Funny how a simple word can cause such an excess of emotion that can touch every end of the emotional spectrum.  I came across an article once that mentioned that love lost could cause severe depression and mental breakdown.  Love is a powerful emotion that is intoxicating and addictive as any drug.  Hard to fathom that something that possesses no physical tangible qualities can cause a person to spin out of control.

LUST:
Lust becomes easily confused with love when people engage in intimacy before knowledge of their mate.  Physical gratification can be extremely satisfying but empty nonetheless.  Which makes me think of the old commercial slogan “more taste, less filling”.  Today’s society emphasizes the importance of appearance and uses sex appeal to sell, sell, sell.  I think of lust as a young man’s disease, because tact and finesse seem to increase with age.

OUTRO:
Certainly anything is possible if you’re willing to take the risk and endure sacrifice.
A few things I always keep in mind:

• Never be afraid to speak up.
• Equip yourself with faith and focus.
• Lust is fun but fleeting, love is to be cherished and enduring.
• Life is like a game of Chess, but checkmate doesn’t come until the end, be careful how you guard your Court.
• Bullies do not stop existing once you become an adult, but they’re defeated with brain not brawn.

Manly Women and the Women that Love Them

This Post Isn't for Minors - Keep It Moving

First I’ll add a disclaimer: While this post is not necessarily graphic the subject matter is of an adult nature, and not intended for anyone under 18, if that is you, please choose another post and enjoy!

INTRO:
As a child that was raised and nurtured in a strict Pentecostal home, I never thought that I’d end up dating women.  Mainly because everything that I’ve been taught vehemently goes against homosexuality and basically condemns my soul to the fiery pits of HELL!!  I’m wise enough to realize that not everyone is Christian, but everyone can appreciate the idea of going against something that is at the core of their being/worldview.  I’ve tried to pray the gay away, stayed celibate (which wasn’t a bad idea, but a rather frustrating one, I was snapping on folks left & right!! lol).  I found that lying to myself about my true feelings and who I am made me miserable.  Through prayer, fasting, and reading the Bible I was able to come to the conclusion that: God loves me for who I am, a precious child of God made in his own image trying to follow a path of righteousness.  Does that mean I’m perfect? Far from it, the fact that I’m human means that I’m fallible, but I’m a work in progress none the less………..I am a Christian, and I prefer women.  Which leads me to the core of this blog:

I'm Just Me - Nothing More, Nothing Less!

MANLY WOMEN:
Most folks would describe me as a ‘Stud’.  Personally I hate labels, and I refer to myself by government and nicknames only.  I enjoy living life outside the box, but if there is a category I fit into it would be a soft stud.  I’m in touch with my feminine and masculine side and embrace them both.  I have no problem dressing like a tomboy or being more feminine depending on the occasion.  I am a tomboy at heart though, through and through!  Manly women have been referred to as butch (I hate this term), studs, shems (not touching this one), and the list goes on.  My favorite is the phrase Whitney Mixter from The Real L-Word used to refer to lesbians “Pants and Pumps” (I’m sure no explanation is needed , clearly I’d be a Pants.

Unfortunately some of my fellow sapphic sisters have caused people to have negative perceptions when it comes to manly women, because of interactions they’ve experienced.  I do know those that try to hard, or are more manly than the men I know.  I do what comes natural, I don’t strap down my breast (I’m a Double D, and that is toooooooo much work!!!! ), I don’t wear a strap on 24/7 to have the appearance of a bulge in my crotch, I refuse to use the men’s restroom, simply because people look at me like I can’t read when I go into the ladies room.  Now this last item really does baffle me.  I suppose if I were a man, and a man in a dress came into the men’s room I may look twice, but I wouldn’t question him.  Although I have short hair, my chest and hips make it evident that I am a woman, but I digress.  I’ve also seen studs come on to strong, and not take no as an answer.  That doesn’t mean that the transgressions of a few can turn all manly woman into scapegoats.

Testosterone also called 'T'

At one time I considered becoming a transgender man, but I came to the conclusion that I am the way I’m supposed to be.  Not to mention that Thelma and Louise (MY GIRLS) were not meant to be cut off and re-conformed to a man’s chest.  A dear friend of mine is currently transitioning into a man, and it is clear to see that was the best decision for him.  As the  adage goes to each his own.  I love being a woman, and everything that comes with it.  I have no desire to be a man, possess male genitals, or any other foolishness.  I try not to make men feel emasculated in various interactions, after all I am 6’1, with a sturdy frame, but I’m still a lady nonetheless!!

WOMEN THAT LOVE MANLY WOMEN:
Now any manly woman that loves women can relate to what I’m about to say.  They say that curiosity kills the cat, but in actuality it makes the cat puuuuuuuurrrr like a kitten.  The world is full of curious women, and while down-low brothers has been a hot topic, one that is often not discussed is down-low women.  I often hear men describing the fantasy of them being with two women.  The problem with this is that once Pandora’s box is open it can’t be closed.  Women by nature are curious, sensual beings.  I feel that it is a big misconception that simply because I am a woman, that I obviously know how to please another woman…..I can name a list of women that I’ve encountered over the years that WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE ANOTHER WOMAN IF SHE CAME WITH INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!! but I won’t name any names lol.

However, I often attract straight or bisexual women that are attracted to my personality and charisma, and often come on STRONG!!! What I find funny is that these women tend to think I’d be delighted to please them and don’t expect the same in return, or willingly come in like a man and pay their bills, as if I don’t have bills of my own.  My mantra is reciprocation, it works in math, and it works for me!  Some of the best relationships I’ve had, have been with women that are on the fence, or in love with me, but could never classify as gay.  The sad truth is that there are a lot of men and women in the same dilemma I once faced, and are scared to be their true selves because of what the world, family, and friends will say.

Regardless of your beliefs, none of us has a heaven or hell to put anyone in.  Its a wonderful feeling of liberation when you love the person that greets you each morning in the mirror.  I have no desire to persuade anyone based on their beliefs, they’re yours and you’re entitled to them.  However, I refuse to let the imposition of anyone’s beliefs make me feel any less of a valuable part of society.

Here’s What I’ve Learned:

• Those that truly love you for who you are, will love you regardless of whom you are.
• You owe it to yourself to be true.  The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself.
• Life is to short to be lived with regrets! Carpe Diem
• Certain people may shun you, but often I find those are the ones that are in the closet themselves or lying to themselves.
• Most religions preach unconditional love, but few practice what they preach.
• You must LOVE yourself, otherwise you can never truly love someone else, or be accepted for who you are.  If you hate yourself, how can the next person not do the same?
• Ignorance comes in all shapes, sizes, races, and genders; when you encounter it, leave it be!  Not everyone will like you anyway and that is okay
• Sexuality is such a small part of who someone is.  I’ve met A-Holes of all sizes, gender, and race, and their sexual preference had nothing at all to do with it!

A Trip to the Land of Common Scents

I stopped by one of my favorite fragrance stores on my off    day.  The employees are always pleasant and eager to advise  of sales and promotions.  Only one other customer was present when I entered.  He was being demanding and requiring the saleswoman, Erin’s undivided attention.  When I walked in, it appeared that he was ready to check out. However when he glanced and saw me, he requested to smell and re-smell scents, requested unneeded  various bags for his selections, and inquired of Erin what special promotions she could offer just to him, that didn’t apply to other customers!! o_O

Now would be a great time to mention that I work within customer service, currently I talk to customers over the phone, but I have worked in retail before as well.  While the adage the customer is always right is tried and true in the world of business, it is simply a misnomer.  I assist customers that have recently experienced an accident or other tragic event, needless to say these customers aren’t happy when they talk to me.  I have discovered that being cordial, pleasant, and possessing at least an ounce of personality goes a long way in life, and especially in the world of customer service but, I digress back to the story at hand.

My purchases for the day and gift bag!!

Erin mouthed I’m sorry as the gentleman continued to ask to look at several other fragrances, have her spray a sample card, chit chat, and choose another, only not to purchase any of them.  Eventually he concluded his purchase with the original items he had when I entered.  Erin apologized for the wait, but I told her that was fine no apology was needed, some people need more help than others, to which we both shared a chuckle.  During the purchase, her husband stopped by, we shared a brief conversation on our common interest in video games.  I exchanged more general conversation with Erin and concluded the transaction.  Erin then proceeded to tell me she was the new store manager, felt that I had a wonderful personality and offered me a part time position.  She also made sure I was able to take advantage of all the eligible promotions they had and added several popular samples. Needless to say I had a wonderful experience which really made the prior wait time unimportant.

The whole experience made me think of the Goofus and Gallant comics I use to read as a child growing up.  Treating someone the way you wish to be treated generally results in you being treated the same way.

I keep the following things in mind whenever I go shopping, or receive customer service:

• Try not to take out frustrations on salespersons/customer service reps.
• Be courteous and polite, chances are they have already encountered someone that was not; why add to that list?
• A smile, kind word, and general conversation go a long way.
• In general people like to be needed, if a salesperson is able to assist you and you have a positive interaction, they will generally go out of their way to offer top notch customer service.

Love Thyself

Writing is something I love to do, and it’s something I try to do everyday.  I have found it to be therapeutic and enlightening.  This blog is going to be on more of a personal note:

As a child I was raised by my grandmother and mother, whom are now respectively 92 and 61.  These women taught me how to seek a relationship with God, the ten commandments, what it means to be a women, how to cook, clean, and most importantly how to be myself at all cost.  Everyday from the age of 5 until I graduated high school, my mother and I would sit down and discuss my goals, plans, how I was going to obtain them, and how I had to work 200 times harder than anyone else because I was a woman of color, within a society that would judge me because of the color of my skin, before the content of my character.  As I child I felt it was such an injustice that any one would be expected to work harder to receive the same accolades, but I took the lessons to heart.  I was fortunate to grow up in an affluent suburb of Northern VA, but I experienced racism at a very young age, and it tainted my youthful innocence.  However, it taught me a very valuable lesson: anyone can smile in your face, but it is what they say behind closed doors that reveals their true opinions, and of course actions speak volumes over words.

I’ll never forget the day my substitute 1st grade teacher gave my spare change of clothes to another student when she wet herself (against school policy) and made me stay in mine until the end of the day when the same thing happened to me.  Then there was the day they called my mother into a parent teacher conference with me present to advise her they thought I was remedial and should be placed in special education classes.  To which my mother responded, I don’t know what test you used to garner your information but you are sorely mistaken.  My mother paid to have me tested at a local private school only to find I actually tested 2 grade levels ahead.  She later found out that other parents of color had been told the same information, and allowed their children to be placed in special education. Needless to say she later enrolled me in the private school that performed the test.  Because I never saw my mother or grandmother back down, they taught me through their actions the true meaning of courage and strength in the face of adversity.  I’ll never forget the day I saw the KKK storm Washington one Sunday when their permit was granted due to freedom of speech and they marched on Washington.  I still remember the feeling of fear I had in the pit of my stomach as my grandmother and I drove through what seemed like miles of hooded men carrying wooden sticks, that yelled obscenities at us as we tried to make it to church.  They marched again in Arlington, VA in 1997 but this time they were met with numerous survivors from concentration camps and ethnic groups that peacefully protested.

On many occasion I’ve had to look into the eye of the storm of hatred and prejudice.  I’ve learned that stronger is the Christ that is in me, than any evil force within this world.  Fast forward to 2011 as I approach my 30th birthday and I still face hatred, adversity, and stares….not solely because of the color of my skin, but because of whom I chose to love.  I love women and I’m not ashamed of that, I don’t dislike men, but my preference is women.  I’ve tried to pray the gay away, date men to make my folks happy, or simply remain single.  I’ve learned that as much as I love my family and friends, I love myself more and being dishonest to myself is a supreme injustice.

Often people assume because of my tom boyish appearance that I’m an extremely butch lesbian, or I want to be a man, and neither of those presuppositions could be further from the truth.  It trips me out when people old enough to be my mother stare at me as I enter a bathroom, whisper as I wash my hands, or walk into the restroom, see me and immediately walk out.  I was raised in a strict Christian home, and my orientation goes against the core of how I was raised.  After many nights of prayer, tears, and fasting I’ve concluded that I am exactly who the Lord wants me to be and I’m okay with that.  Many people are quick to judge, and say that because I love women I’m condemned to Hell.  I fully understand why they feel that way, and at one time I felt the same way.  The thought of that made me wish I hadn’t been born, and that is something that no one should ever feel.  The bible is full of ambiguity and almost anyone can manipulate scripture for their own intent.  The bible was written in Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic three languages which I don’t speak.  However, what I have learned through attending a Christian university and my own research is that their are many biblical scholars that disagree on the various translations of the bible, and many differ.  What I do know is that I’m a blessed unique child of God, that possesses many gifts courtesy of God.

The bible reminds us to love thy neighbor as you love yourself, but some people don’t even love who they are.  I’ve learned that love is patient, kind, just, and the embodiment of Christ.  The word commands each of us to love one another.  I find it funny after people get to know me or spend a few moments in my presence they advise I’m one of the nicest and sweetest people they’ve ever encountered, and nothing like the way they thought I would be.  Judging a book by what appears to be its cover is the best way to miss out on what may be the next best thing.

This world is full of individuals that profess various beliefs, many which are influenced by stigmas of society.  Regardless of your beliefs I challenge you to do these three things the next time you find yourself about to judge someone:

1. Am I basing my decision on fact, or my own assumptions?
2. How would I feel if I were in their shoes?
3. Would you think the same thing of the person, if the individual before you were your child, mother, father, aunt, uncle

Stand-fast in what you believe of the world will eat away at you!

Above all else I challenge you to love yourself at all cost, because if you can’t show love to yourself, you can never share it with anyone else either.  Many people think they know what love is but they mistake it for lust or emotion.  Love is an unconditional commitment that cost nothing, but is priceless.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Summer Storms

I enjoy the summer season as much as the next person.  Lately the sun has been a bit unbearable.  Mississippi and many other cities have seen weeks of days that are in the high 90′s and upper 100′s.  However, when it gets hot folks tend to act less rational.  Summer heat sometimes brings out undesirable traits.

Today has been a perfect example of that for me.  I decided to head out around 3PM to stop by the ATM, find something to eat, and stop by the local grocery store.  During my journey, I was cut off, flicked off, almost hit, had children dart out in front of my car as though they were made of bumpers, and encountered some interesting sights.  I had quite a few interesting thoughts with each incident.  I wasn’t able to share my thoughts with the individuals that may have benefited from them most at the time, but here are some general tips that came to mind, which we can all benefit from:

1. Use your turn signal, the people behind you will greatly appreciate it.
2. Men and women, if you wear flip flops and or sandals, please pay attention to moisturize your feet, clip toenails, & don’t wear socks (unless you’re at home)!
3. Ladies, if you chose not to shave your underarms and it looks like you have a young version of Michael Jackson under your arm pits as a hostage! PLEASE refrain from wearing tank tops.
4. Watch out for children, teenagers, and adult pedestrians, at times some think they are made with built in bumpers and walk aimlessly amidst traffic.
5. Don’t be afraid to shower multiple times in this heat, you and everyone you encounter will be glad you did!
6. Many people use baby powder to absorb moisture. However, baby powder rolls up into hard balls when mixed with sweat, use cornstarch instead.  Cornstarch will absorb the heat and keep you cooler.
7. Regardless your ethnicity, everyone should use some type of sunblock, you will still get a tan, but at least you won’t fry under the UV rays.

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When summer heat gets to unbearable, most everyone tries to find a sense of relief.  That relief can be found in pool parties, vacations, air conditioning, relaxing with friends, and the list goes on.  Nature provides the best way to beat the heat and humidity, a beautiful chaotic summer thunderstorm.  During a storm the earth rumbles, shakes, sends charges of electricity throughout the air, and torrential downpours.  In the end the weather is often cooler and a beautiful rainbow is revealed as things return to normal.

Sometimes the troubles experienced within life are like unbearable summer heat, and the only way to find relief is to ride out a thunderstorm.  While the journey may be arduous the reward is immeasurable.  Don’t be afraid to bear the heat and ride out the storm, at the end there is always a rainbow, and you may just find your pot of gold.